Some things are hard to say. But they require saying. So - all eloquence aside...
My dad passed away unexpectedly on Valentine's Day. Hence, my absence here.
I spoke at the funeral service, and I talked about a childhood memory.
My dad banked his coins. Every night after he came home, he'd empty his pockets of change (Remember the days of having change in your pockets? Pre-debit cards?). He'd toss the pennies into a big jar, and when the jar was full it would go on the top shelf of the closet. Once he had several jars full, he'd cash them in.
Never say a penny isn't worth anything :)
To me, each of those pennies represented something. A family meal. A hard day at work. A day on the boat or in the tree stand. There were good days, and bad days.
Each day, he'd toss those pennies into his jar, and I wonder if he's satisfied with how they were spent. I couldn't help but think about my New Years Eve post from 2011. (read it - it's much more put-together than this...).
And it makes me sit down - pull out the ledger - and review. How have I been spending my pennies?
Here's what I know. Forget about looking back at the end of my life. I want to look back at the end of this week (and the next - and the next - and the next) and be satisfied with how I've spent my pennies. When today is gone, it's gone. We don't get do-overs.
The scrubbing of floors. The wiping of noses. The friendly phone call. The way we do life is important. Whether you know it or not - you're spending pennies all throughout your day.
Spend wisely, my friend. Spend wisely.
I'm all out of words. I've been putting this post off for 2 weeks, and now it's done - and at least this part of my life can take a big breath and move on.
The other parts of my life - well, they're on hold for now.
Those of you who have reached out to me - thank you. People I've never laid eyes on - never wrapped my arms around. Thank you. You don't even know.
One Thing I Know For Sure: Deep breath. Moving on.